Dear Aisha -
You're doing great in many areas that felt out of control to you only a couple of days ago.
Magic
The bathroom outlets actually DO work, so it's great that your didn't take the cost of those off the rent and now there's $89 back on your Home Depot card. Never mind that I've been stepping over cords for a month because I didn't double-check them before now. There is ONLY now.
I got the idea of opening the back door so the cats can go in and out at will. Asha likes to stay out there and Onyx is tolerating her better. He's even coming into the house to eat crunchies. Wish they could always have that freedom. Peri went out, too, and I thought she got under the front fence so I dressed and went a few houses up, down, and over, calling softly (it wasn't 6 AM yet). Then I had the bright idea of checking under beds, and sure enough, she was under Moose's bed. Yay!
It occurred to me that this one isn't first on the list - hmmmm: Catherine sent a text yesterday afternoon with reasons for "radio silence." Sick, rough work stuff, Bennett issues, visit from Megan and Ruby, worried about Gus's upcoming birthday and she hasn 't done anything. I didn't respond until this afternoon, after periodically pondering the most neutral response. I settled on, "Sounds stressful!" That doesn't give her much to find fault with. Too brief? C'est la vie. I am amazed and taken aback by how blasee I feel about it - her, communicating with her. Maybe I broke through an emotional barrier of some sort - like having a fever and you feel really bad before it breaks. Then you heave a sigh of relief and get on with recuperating. I was able to download my Queen ticket tonight. and my plan is to drive up the night before. I still have to figure out logistics for parking and getting to/from COTA.
I contacted Feral Cat Coalition and the woman Susan's mentioned, Carol, called me back and told me to send photos and write-ups about each of the cats. I know things will work out for the best. I also posted Peri on the Adopt-a-pet site, thinking someone would be interested in a mini-Maine Coon.
I spoke up for myself with Iheartcats about sending stuff I'd bought to CAVENDISH CLOSE! and they're going to send replacements :-)
I spoke up for myself with the Seratame company and they're cancelling auto shipments and giving me a refund for what they sent to 115! That last was a bonus! Maybe they did it because I mentioned I had stopped taking it, anyway, because of terrible side effects with my bipolar meds, which was true. That's almost $200!
I've started giving considered thought to all that I'm taking on and realizing I can let myself off the hook about how fast I plunge into any of them. I did let Kat persuade me to come to the final class tomorrow. After all, I have learned the lines and I know I can make a "good showing."
Based on what I see myself doing with my time, my priorities are writing this blog, learning that part, taking care of personal business (picked up shoes, dry cleaning, jewelry - except earrings weren't repaired), paying bills, meeting with financial planner, working on the mini golf morale event, working on the playbook (it's finally coming together, as of TODAY! - that should be one of my "magic" bullets), and smoking (more today than the past three combined.
This is what I wrote to Susan yesterday in an email: "I think I will make that my general policy from here out, because even when someone *says* they want advice or suggestions, they really just want a sounding board to bounce their own ideas back to them. My whole career and my training as an architect has been in roles where I was the one who could see where there were problems, weighed options, thought of, found, and developed solutions, and then implemented them (or gave direction for them to be implemented). I've been recognized for those aspects of my character and creativity and for my critical thinking abilities, but they were maliciously rejected at Alconbury, are not wanted or appreciated in this job, and won't be relevant to my life after retirement. I'll have to completely reinvent myself and it will take some time to figure out where to start."
Many now opportunities to a) put this into.practice; and b) be my own gap finder, critical thinker, and problem solver.
Yesterday I signed up for a free Michigan State University screenwriting course through Coursera. Supposed to be able to write a cradle-to-grave screenplay in 20 weeks. How cool would that be!!! The first assignment is to write and submit at least one logline for peer review and write an imaginary experience talking with our protagonist. Extra Innings is on deck and ready to go! Now where did I put that logline???